Name your
subject.
Give the reader an explicit subject. Name the actor or event before developing the claim. Let the action establish the sentence’s direction.
By Adam Frick · First draft
I advise writers to replace empty subjects and unnamed references with explicit actors and claims. A sentence that names the matter under discussion gives the reader a useful place to begin. My first targets are it and there. I normally rewrite openings built around those two words and replace vague references with the nouns identifying the intended meaning. The review asks a practical question: which subject should the reader encounter and which action should follow? The answer usually produces a more effective sentence.
1. Give the subject a name.
Compare two openings. The first opening asks the reader to wait for the matter under discussion. The revision gives the matter an immediate grammatical role.
There are several obstacles that prevent the team from completing the report.
Several obstacles prevent the team from completing the report.
The obstacles now occupy the subject position. The verb names the relationship with the team’s work. The reader reaches the problem without passing through an empty announcement. An opening should help the sentence move. When an opening merely announces the existence of the subject, I usually remove the announcement and promote the subject.
2. Name the responsibility behind a judgement.
It is important to check the evidence before making a claim.
Writers must check the evidence before making a claim.
The revision identifies the people responsible for the check. The sentence now gives writers a task, rather than introducing an abstract declaration of importance. A different purpose may require a different subject. An argument about evidence could begin “Evidence supports a claim only when the evidence addresses the claim directly.” An instruction to a research team could begin “The research team must check the evidence.” The subject should follow the purpose. A claim often needs an explanation of importance, necessity or possibility. Name the action, identify the responsible person and explain the reason.
3. Replace an unnamed reference with the actual event.
The committee postponed the meeting. It delayed the decision.
The committee postponed the meeting. The postponement delayed the decision.
The second sentence now names the postponement as the cause. The reader no longer has to decide whether the committee, the meeting or the postponement caused the delay. Even when a nearby noun makes a reference reasonably easy to infer, repeating the right noun gives the writer an opportunity to specify the relationship. The chosen noun can identify an action, a result, a problem or a decision.
4. Name places as carefully as actions.
The team transferred the records to the archive and stored them there.
The team transferred the records to the archive for storage.
The revision names the archive and removes an unnecessary second action. When location matters independently, name the location directly: “The shared archive stores the records.” The same review applies to a simple description of the weather. “Rain fell throughout the night” gives the sentence a named subject and an action. A familiar empty opening rarely offers the only available structure.
5. Make replacement the default.
The British Council’s grammar reference on dummy subjects explains conventional uses of both target words. Both target words can appear in grammatical English. My objection concerns the work the reader has to do and the information the writer has postponed or left unnamed.
I apply the same review to academic prose, professional communication and narrative description. Name the actor, the event, the object or the location. Put the main action where the reader can find the action. Keep the sentence’s purpose in view.
I make replacement my default. A writer who wants to retain an empty opening or an unnamed reference should have a deliberate reason grounded in the intended effect. Habit alone offers a poor defence. A shorter revision may result, but word count is secondary. The useful gain comes from specifying the subject and making the relationship visible.
Apply the review to a paragraph.
Search a paragraph for the two target words. For each occurrence, identify the noun, event, action, judgement or location the wording represents. Rewrite the sentence around that named subject.
Read the revision beside the original. Check the meaning, the emphasis and the connection with the preceding sentence. A successful revision gives the reader more precise information without inventing a new claim. Effective writing should reward the reader’s attention. An explicit subject gives the reader a useful place to begin.
Editor, writer and educator · Effective English